Facing the Inner Darkness: I Ya Toyah on Music, Mental Health, and Empowerment

10 mins read

In the gritty landscape of industrial rock, I Ya Toyah stands out as a formidable one-woman army, blending electronic, rock, and industrial elements into a unique sound of her own. Recently, we had the opportunity to dive deep into the mind of this Chicago-based artist, exploring her creative process, influences, and future aspirations.

I Ya Toyah’s journey begins in Lodz, Poland, a city she describes as having a “gloomy darkness” and “post-industrial architectural designs” that shaped her artistic vision. This industrial backdrop, combined with the multicultural blend of Chicago, has profoundly influenced her sound. “Chicago is an amazing, powerful city, culturally and artistically,” she explains, noting the city’s ability to be “both dark, and so light, so chaotic yet so organized.”

When it comes to creating her signature sound, I Ya Toyah embraces a natural, intuitive process. “I never try to force anything creatively,” she says. Her approach involves layering multiple instruments and textures, resulting in what she calls a “multidimensional genre bender.” This method allows her to fully express the lyrical context of each song, creating a powerful auditory experience.

A central theme in I Ya Toyah’s music is the exploration of inner darkness. She views this process as essential for personal growth and artistic expression. “You have to embrace your darkness in order to be able to be free of it,” she explains. This philosophy extends to her approach to mental health awareness, which is deeply intertwined with her artistic vision.

Despite her background in full band experiences, I Ya Toyah has found empowerment in her solo project. “It’s very empowering not just to myself, but mostly to the fans who come to those shows,” she notes. This approach allows her complete control over her sound and stage presence, creating an intense and personal live experience.

I Ya Toyah’s creative process often involves unconventional sound sources. From crunching autumn leaves to spreading butter on dry toast, she incorporates these unique elements into her music. “I ended up beefing my snare sound with it,” she says of the leaf-crunching sound, demonstrating her innovative approach to sound design.

As I Ya Toyah prepares for her first European tour with Front Line Assembly, she’s excited about the new perspectives and opportunities this will bring. “I feel like exploring Europe in terms of live performances is going to be a start of many new perspectives creatively,” she shares. With plans for extensive touring in 2025 and hints of new projects on the horizon, I Ya Toyah’s industrial journey is far from over.

I Ya Toyah represents a powerful force in the industrial music scene, blending raw emotion, innovative sound design, and a fearless approach to artistic expression. As she continues to push boundaries and explore new territories, both musically and geographically, fans can look forward to more of her unique brand of industrial chaos in the years to come.

To delve deeper into her creative process, musical philosophy, and future plans, we invite you to read the full interview with Rock Documented below, where I Ya Toyah shares intimate insights into her artistic world and the forces that drive her unique sound.

Your sound is a gut-punch of industrial, electronic, and rock. How do you balance these elements to create your signature chaos?


It kind of depends on the song that I’m working on, at the given time. I guess some of them
automatically inspire the certain ideas for the sounds, and then because I love layering multiple
different instruments and textures in my studio when I work on the song, it usually just kind of
leads to multidimensional genre bender. It’s kind of a natural process. I never try to force
anything creatively. In the studio I forget about the whole world and just submerge my whole
attention in the project, so whatever brings out the meaning of the lyrical context of the song in
the strongest way possible, I will follow that lead.

You’ve described your music as “embracing the inner darkness.” How do you tap into that darkness without letting it consume you?


Funny thing, I almost feel like I would turn this question around! How to not get consumed by it
without letting it in? It’s like, you have to embrace your darkness in order to be able to be free of
it, you know? That’s how it works for me at least. I look my darkness in the eyes and learn to
understand the very core of it to own it. Embracing it sets me free. And the best way for me to
do so is to write songs about it. It’s like therapy, only without the therapist.

Chicago’s industrial scene has birthed legends like Ministry and Stabbing Westward. How has the city’s gritty underbelly influenced your sound?


Chicago is an amazing, powerful city, culturally and artistically. We have some of the greatest
musical acts that started here, legends that today are an inseparable part of Chicago’s culture.
And this itself would be enough to inspire, but to me the hidden, almost transcendent magic of
this city lies in its multicultural blend that combines so many different influences. It’s both dark,
and so light, so chaotic yet so organized. All this creates one of a kind, undefined atmosphere of
familiarity yet it’s so very strange and unconquered. First time I came to Chicago I was very
young and that’s what I saw and felt immediately, and that’s what captivated me. I knew right
away that I am connected to this place and that’s where I was going to live.

Your live performances are known for their raw energy. What’s your pre-show ritual to get into that headspace?


Usually I have to go with the flow, there is so much to do before the show. So it’s usually grind,
grind, grind, because you know you have to set everything up and make sure everything works.
Only then I can gather myself, collect myself mentally and physically. When on tour, I try to sleep
a decent amount of hours – which is tricky as you know, this ‘on the road rock and roll lifestyle’
haha! But sleep is crucial to your daily vocal health – and mental and physical too. I also have
my hardcore restriction, so for example I will not have any dairy on the day of the show, I will
also not have caffeine which is very hard because I love my coffee and my caffeine. All this just
to keep an eye on vocal health. I will also engage in very intense lengthy vocal warm-ups before
the show. A little bit of body workout is also great, and some breathing – all of this to balance the
physical and mental aspects of being show ready. When I’m on stage I forget about the whole
world anyways, it’s like the moment I enter the stage it’s like I’m entering the other dimension.
The best one of them all! And I’m in it, in this trance, until the show is over.

You’re a one-woman army on stage. Have you ever considered expanding to a full band, or do you prefer the solo control?


I actually come from a world of a full band experience. I used to be in hardcore band, then a
punk rock jazz band, followed by a metal band, and it was all great – you know the chemistry
between musicians when you perform or even just rehearse. It’s something very special for
sure, and I often miss that interhuman sparkle. But, these bands would fall apart because
people would quit, wouldn’t have that commitment which was the reason why I started a one
woman army, I Ya Toyah project. And, in the beginning it felt like it might be a temporary idea just
to get me started on my own independent music path, but then it…grew on me so quickly! It’
very empowering not just to myself, but mostly to the fans who come to those shows. They
always tell me this. It’s also extremely satisfying to be able to control all the sounds and
everything that’s going on on stage by yourself. It is exhausting so you will find me sweating a
lot during those shows but…it’s so fulfilling! So, I’m not really thinking of expanding the band,
but I do contemplate a tour or a show with other guest musicians joining me on stage for a
couple of songs. In the past year there were a couple shows where I’ve had a guest on stage
with me: guest Walter Flakus of Stabbing Westward. Since we worked together on the
production of my new record DRAMA, he sometimes joins me on stage for a song on guitar and
it’s something very special – I mean aside from the fact that he’s my huge Idol and just amazing
human overall, it’s a different energy and also a cushion of comfort. Because being on stage by
yourself can be quite terrifying if something goes wrong haha.

Your Polish roots shine through in your music. How do you blend that heritage with the American industrial sound?


Can’t hide my Polish roots! They are in my accent, in my looks, they are who I am. As far as
blending this heritage with American industrial sound I don’t even know if that is what is
happening honestly. My city in Poland, Lodz is a very industrial place so the industrial element
has always been part of my reality, long before I could even fully understand it. Its gloomy
darkness, very post-industrial architectural designs, poor working class struggle, rebel psyche,
and just overall artistic vibe that lingered somewhere between the poetic sadness and the
futuristic dystopian vibe, had a huge influence on me when I was growing up, and all of it is a
big part of who I am today. I’m sure it comes out in my songwriting and production without me
even realizing it. The aesthetic choices I make, phrasing, the selection of words…and all the
ornamentalization, the flow of things. Plus that accent. It’s definitely one of my signatures haha.

If you could collaborate with any artist, dead or alive, who would it be and what unholy noise would you create together?


I always say that my greatest dream is to collaborate with David Lynch. I’d love to do a score for
him, and definitely a record together, I know it would be the most disturbing, surreal thing ever.
Other than this, I would love to collaborate with Trent Reznor on the score, or on a record. He is
just so brilliant in so many ways. Jordan Fish of Bring Me The Horizon would be another one.
I’m absolutely obsessed with his recent production he did with Poppy. There are so many
talented people I admire, these are really endless lists. These names are just the top of the
mountain. David Lynch, Jordan Fish, Trent Reznor- perhaps collaborating with all of them all
at once would be a thing?

Your lyrics often tackle heavy themes. What’s the most challenging song you’ve written emotionally?


Oh man this is a tough question because I usually channel difficult emotions when I write. It’s
like my writing comes from those dark hidden little drawers in my mind, and then I open them
when I want to write a song – or should I say, they open in the most undesirable moments and I
have no choice but to write right there, no matter what is going on around me at the moment. So
it’s always challenging. Some of these little drawers contain the emotions that are more difficult
than others, so opening them is even harder to process and create with. On my new DRAMA
record it’s definitely Panic Room, Dream not to Dream, Caves, Crashing Comet… I see I mean I
could keep going! Fraud, Hello, Hello?… With this record, creating each of the songs had
literally forced me to go into uncharted dark territory of my mind. Once I am there, in this
songwriting process, I am submerged in all these emotions, re-living whatever it was I tried to
hide from myself. When I’m done writing and I look back it’s kind of like if I just went through
exorcism or something. Exhausting, weird feeling but also the healing kind. It’s always hard to
relate to the hardest things that happened to us in life but I guess I never want to ignore these
emotions or let them burn me inside. Songwriting gives me the strength and courage to take
them out of the drawers and face them. To me it’s the only way to become friends with my
demons.

You’ve been vocal about mental health awareness. How do you use your platform to address these issues without compromising your artistic vision?


Mental health awareness is a part of my brand because as I mentioned before, everything I do
musically and artistically comes from a deeper place, and the fact that I struggle mentally – just
like everybody else I have the darkness and I have the light. My light is very strong but so is my
darkness. The darkness comes out in my music – this is how I process it. The good thing is, I
can stay fully authentic when I address these mental health issues, sharing the journey with my
fans, because it’s all a part of the human condition. If you look at my music videos, almost all of
them show mental health struggles. My artistic vision IS mental health in a big part, inseparably.
I would never want to hide the fact that I’m a human and that I have these emotions or those
thoughts or these darker moments. Instead I expose them, share them because I think talking
about it helps everyone and kills stigma. This being said, it’s all intertwined and because of it I
can help support the suicide prevention and mental health awareness causes in any way
possible – starting with 988 Crisis Line bracelets that I make to give away to everyone just to
remind them they aren’t alone, and to give people a conversation starter so we all begin to
normalize the difficult talk about these serious subjects.

What’s the most unconventional object you’ve used to create a sound in your music?


The most unconventional object would definitely be the autumn crispy leaves as they fall down
from the trees. Since I was a child I always loved to crunch them with my feet. It’s just so
satisfying haha. One day I was like wow this sounds so good, let me record it and so I did. Then
I sampled it and added the sound to my library. I ended up beefing my snare sound with it. I’ve
done a lot of different things: butter spreading on a dry toast, the rusted door hinge sounds, so
many different things. I can blame it on the time when I was studying audio engineering and we
had a foley class which was probably one of my favorite classes, because we got to create real
life sounds to compliment an audio, and it was often done with weird, unrelated objects.

Looking ahead, what’s the next frontier for I Ya Toyah? Any unexplored territories you’re itching to conquer?


As of now, I am awaiting – and preparing intensely – to embark on the very exciting adventure
which is my very first European tour. I’m going to tour Europe with Front Line Assembly, bringing
my I Ya Toyah show to the new uncharted territories, and I cannot wait! I feel like exploring
Europe in terms of live performances is going to be a start of many new perspectives creatively
and also in terms of opportunities. I’m also excited because EU is where my roots are, it’s where
I grew up so it’s like circling back in time – and place a little for me. And, I get to bring my Death’s
Kiss lipstick line, and I am the Fire hot sauce overseas, plus all the new fashion designed for the
DRAMA record. As far as other plans go, I definitely want to tour with the new album a lot, that
is a plan for 2025 – as worldwide as possible. Eventually I want to get back to my studio as I
already have an idea for the next thing – but first I have to let DRAMA have its time. I’m also
going to be announcing something very exclusive, special and very new closer to the end of this
year – and this will definitely be the beginning of unexplored and new territory not just for me, but
also for my fans.

I Ya Toyah Tour

T. Cody Strubel is the founder of Rock Documented, a platform he established in September 2015. As the Lead Photographer, Writer, and Editor, Cody has been instrumental in shaping the site's content and visual aesthetic. His exceptional work in music photography was recognized by the Central Pennsylvania Music Hall of Fame, where he was voted "Best Photography" at their inaugural event. Cody's equipment of choice includes two Nikon Z8s, a Nikon 22-70mm 2.8 VR, a Nikon 70-200mm 2.8 VRII, and a Black Rapid Shoulder Strap. His passion for music and photography, combined with his commitment to promoting local talent, makes him a vital voice in the Central Pennsylvania music scene.

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